it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
