i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
