Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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