I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
