I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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