then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
