Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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