i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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