After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
