Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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