So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
