Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
