i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
