Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
