in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
