just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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