..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
