We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
