Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All the doctor said was why
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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