she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
