Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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