I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Randomize