I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
