I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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