I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
