uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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