he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize