I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
