You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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