Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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