That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
