my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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