how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
