girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
