The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Me too!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
