She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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