she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she peed on how many people?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
