My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
