a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
