So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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