I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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