do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
