We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
