I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
