How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize