I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
