Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
