i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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