and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
