I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
only if we run a train.
done.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize