I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
