Rock
Scissors
Fuck
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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