love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Randomize
