R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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