he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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