this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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