I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
