Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize