Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
