Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
