I don't think brook has ever known best
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
