U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize