Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
