the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
