I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
