I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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