No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
